Strange life...

24-April-2014
Thursday
5:57 A.M.*

Isn't it strange when you were with me the thought of being apart never crossed my mind and now when you aren't here my heart refuses to believe it?Things are changing certainly. I am trying to look normal. However I haven't started talking to anyone yet but I have started working on a new story "For the rest of my life..." I want to show you the manuscript and know your review like always but those days are gone now when you used to be the first one to read my stories and poetries. Your review always mattered for me the most. Well you never criticized my work but your words always encouraged me to write better. It's just a way to keep myself busy. I don't know if this story will be complete or not because you're not here to ask me "kanyu story complete huyi ki nhi? Kab complete hogi?"

Now I realize how much you were involved in my life. Dawn to dusk only you are in my mind thinking had you been there what would you have said on this or that. This writing thing is a good way to keep me busy but you know its momentarily as I know I can never complete the story without you. I need you and your support. The dialogues of all the stories were inspired by you(all our sweet conversations).

When I used to see people facing heartbreak and crying I always thought its madness and see today I am in same situation. Now I know what it actually feels like.

Sometimes I feel like snatching you from this world and keep you with me only. You are only mine. You promised that you belong to me only. No one has right over you. You are mine forever but then I remind myself the words of your Dad. I remind myself what Avantika di told me. I remind myself the time when we confronted each other. Its all so clumsy. I don't know whom to trust. Should I trust what Avantika di said or should I trust the promises you made? My heart tells me to trust you but my mind says Di won't lie.

Two years passed in a jiffy and now every second seems like ages. Everyday I count the days, hours, minutes and seconds since we are not together. Stupidity. I know. But I can't help it. I cannot forget you. You were and you are all I want. My love is still the same. I haven't forgot any of my promises.

3:00 P.M.

Feeling very uneasy. Don't know why. I wish you're here to make me feel better like always. My heart is beating so fast. I can feel the fast rythm of my heartbeats. There is something wrong but I don't know what. Since morning I was okay and now all of a sudden this restlessness. Maybe I am missing you so much or is there something really wrong? Do you also feel the way I am feeling right now? Perhaps no. You'll be so much busy in the preparations of your sister's wedding. Definitely you won't be having time to think about me. Or maybe you don't want to show that you too miss the lovely moments we shared together. I know you're too strong to handle all this but unfortunately I am not and no one knows it better than you. I am once again in tears. Hell..why am I thinking about you all the time? Why don't your memories leave me alone? Only thing I want at this moment is to hug someone and cry. God!!! These emotions are so out of control. Tears have finally found their way and escaped from my eyes. I wish there was some way to dry up my eyes and never let any tear to flow. These tears clearly show how much I miss you. I really miss you so much. Come back na...