Passing Days...

19-April -2014
Saturday
6:59 A.M.

Don't know from where to start. It's all same as it was. Things are not turning to be any better. My condition is getting worse with time. It takes a million efforts to make myself understand that nothing is going to be same. Everytime you cross my mind, I start repeating in my mind no i won't think about you. It's so difficult to push back your thoughts. No matter how hard I try they resonate in my mind.

I know I am a fool doing all this but I don't know how to explain that I am not responsible for all this. It's happening on it's own.

Yesterday after so many days I went to Mom's room. I think after 13-14 days. She wasn't there. Sounds strange na? But it's true. I don't go out of this room. I stay here just like a cocoon in its shell. It's been a long time when I had a talk with mom. I know she is really worried about my silence but now I don't like talking  to anyone. I don't have any answer to her questions and not even to my own questions.

I feel alone. I want someone beside me. I want to be like before. I want to be the same chirpy bird soaring high in the sky. But whenever anyone comes to talk to me I feel my voice is choked. Now I feel like a flightless bird who lost its wings.

The picturesque perfect life is broken into pieces. The fairy tale has met an abrupt end.

I feel as if even the nature is conspiring against me. This weather, rain, cold breeze, fluffy clouds, swaying leaves everything is so enchanting but not to me. I don't feel any excitement. It just crushes me more.