5 weeks...

15-April-2014
Tuesday
12:32 P.M.

5 weeks... Only I know how each and everyday has gone. I know it sounds stupid to cry over something which was never yours. How can I be such an emotional fool? The fact is even I didn't know this is how I am. It feels bad when something you adore ends but it hurts more when you still cling to what has ended. I know it's all over but I am still clinging to it.

5 weeks isn't a short span of time to forget things. It's long enough to realize that you'll never come back. Our ways are parted. Our lives are separated. Our paths will never cross again. Damn! Despite of knowing everything I am crying over you.

The date, the time, the moment, the memories of past remind me of all I had once. This life means nothing to me now. I have lost all I had. My friends and my family too. All hopes are dead and dreams are shattered. Could love do such things to anyone? It surely did to me. I remember all those moments we spent together. I think over and over again. I can't get rid of past memories.  I smile,  I cry, I burn at the same moment, every single time you cross my mind. It's so difficult to resist myself from not getting sad and teary. Unbearably sad.

Even today my mind cannot register the fact that we are not together. I don't how easy is it for you but for me its most impossible thing to do. Everything seems so incomplete. I always felt complete with you. If I were a body you were my soul. No matter for how long I stop talking to you or fight with you, even you knew I am the weakest in this relationship and I'll come back. I don't know if you used my emotions  or took me for granted. Didn't it hurt you even a bit?

With every thought of you my pain sharpens. It seems as if someone piercing my heart and I cannot even defend myself. People say only closed one have the power to hurt you deepest. So true they are. You did the same with me. I am at the point where neither I can die nor I can live. When I think of my parents I feel so bad. What mistake they have done? I am hurting them for no reason. They did everything for me, fulfilled my every wish and gave me the best upbringing they could. I wish they could get me back my lost two years too.