I'll be there...

21-April -2014
Monday
8:06 A.M.*

Waiting is like holding cactus in your knowing that its going to hurt you.

"Kanyu I promise I'll never leave you alone." These are your words. The promise you really kept well for two years. What happened now? Why did you break your promise?  Damn how you are  living without me? I can't even breath properly. It seems I am punishing myself every moment I am spending without you. I am pooling every effort to keep myself happy and busy but I can still feel the emptiness. The void which only you can fill with your presence.

I die daily in the hope that you'll come back. You'll come and say "kanyu I missed you like anything. " You never disappointed me. You wanted to see me happy forever. Don't you know you're my reason to be happy?  How can I be happy without you? I try not to think about you when you don't care about me but its not in my hands. The memories stir my soul to its core. I feel suffocating and I can't stop crying. The poetries  and stories also don't excite me now. I start writing but can't go beyond few lines. You're all I need. Music, books, rain, friends, family nothing makes me feel better. I don't remember when was the last time I smiled. Its only you who can bring my smile back. What wrong I did to you? Why are you punishing me for no reason?  Why do you want me to die like this? If you really want me to die just kill me once and for always but please don't punish me like this.