Holding on...

9-April-2014
Wednesday
6:40 A.M.

Holding on to past is insanity...

Another lonely morning.. another long day to go with the never ending memories. As I try to recollect myself the waves of memories once again blow me. Holding on to past is insanity. An insanity which is never going to cure. No matter how much I try to move ahead I know my heart will not fickle from its place.

Life is darn cruel. When it gives, it gives in abundance and when it snatches, it doesn't leave you with even a bit. When I was happy, there was no end to smiles and now when I am sad, there is no end to tears. Why everything is so complicated?

It was such a hard day to pass. Every second I missed you like crazy. Whole day I was battling myself should I message you once or not. At last I didn't. Only I know how I resisted myself. One of the special day turned into one of the worst day. Isn't it ironic? It hurts. It hurts to the core.

Now when we have moved apart and I think of the things you said and promises you did I realize how easily you convinced me for everything. I trusted you more than myself. But today my mind is clouded with doubts, not just about you, about so many other things and people. One such person is Rushant. Ever since you are not with me he is lost too. I am sure there is some link between you and him. Was he too lying? Or should I say you were behind this Rushant's story?  There is something fishy and I got it from the very day when Rushant and I discussed about Aarav. The rage and way he was talking pushed me to doubt about his identity which I never showed but I know its you behind him or......