Embracing pain...

May 26, 2014
Monday
20:44 P.M.

I've gone over this my head over and over but never thought it would hit me so hard. It's not about how much I miss you, its about wondering if you miss me too.

I will never understand in my life why I love you so much. Your every move makes my world upside down. Just saw that you have signed out your gtalk id. My heart lost all its beats for a moment. Why its hurting me? We weren't talking either. It should not affect me now. But see I am not able to stop my tears. When it comes to you my mind loses all its powers to think and respond. I forget everything else. I don't get what to do and how to react to the situations.

It's so much painful to not see you online. Maybe you've just set it on invisible mode but its like I've lost you allover again. Why I think I have lost you when you're not even mine? Life is so  complicated. You're not here still I feel you around. Its been 11 weeks I've not heard from you still I want to share every moment of my life with you. When I stay alone I think that I'll tell you so many things, things that are happening around me, things that I want to do, something that I am feeling or actually everything under the sun.

I need you. I want you to tell me that everything is going to be fine. I want you to tell me that you'll never leave me alone. I know its a wish which is never going to fulfill but its not easy to convince my heart. Its my stubborn heart which wants you, you and only you.