May 27th, 2014
Tuesday
12:47 A.M.
What a day! 11 weeks of our falling apart and my birthday. Receiving wishes from everyone. Calls, texts, whatsapp, gmail all are flooded with wishes. Happy, smiling, getting gifts.. what else is needed for a happy birthday? I know you remember my birthday. You can never forget it. Not even in your dreams. It's not my blind faith, its my love. I know you. I know you'd be thinking to wish me too but the anticipation of you should or you should not is stopping you. I really wish you'd wished me first like last year. It would've multiplied my happiness. But it's okay. I have no right to expect anything now. I have no right over you. You're no more mine. I know its stupid but I am still hoping that you'll wish me. I am eagerly waiting for you to wish me. Maybe just a simple text but please wish me. I cannot sleep. I know you must be awake too. I wish we could talk. I wish you could make me smile again like before.
5:14 A.M.
New day, new hopes, new life. By now all my close ones have wished me, except the one who is closest to my heart. You haven't wished me yet. Am I hoping too much? My heart says you can never forget my birthday. You maybe feeling the same as I. Confused. See where life has taken us. just 11 weeks ago we used to share every breath ours and today we're confused how to strike a conversation. Funny. Isn't it? I'm feeling like dying on my own birthday. I'm not feeling happy at all. Received wishes and gifts in night itself, still there isn't smile on my face and eyes are wet. I really don't want to cry. My sad face will make others sad but I am scared that I'd be able to hold my tears for too long.
7:10 A.M.
Omggggg.. you wished me. I can't believe it. Thank you sooooooo much. I knew it. I knew you can never forget my birthday. I knew you'll wish me. I know you well. I cannot be wrong when it comes to you. Your gtalk is activated again. I'm more than happy. You know what I am still crying. I know I'm silly. I have always heard about tears of happiness. Today I know what actually it means. I am happy still I have tears in my eyes.
I want to reply you right now but I am scared. I want to say thank you for making my day special but I've not replied you only because I am scared it may bring a new start. It may begin an end. I may not be replying you right now and I won't reply later too but it's just because I have no strength to go onto same phase.
11:35 P.M.
Day is coming to an end. It was overall a good day. Shipra, Shivangi, Deeksha, Sameer, Ankit came to home. I saw Shipra after her birthday on march 30th. I am glad she came. I know she was upset with me since her birthday still she came here. It's a big deal to me. We had a great time together. We talked a lot, laughed, discussed everything we could. It didn't feel that we met after two months. With others too I had good time but Shipra means more than anymore to me.
In evening I went out with Aarav, Iti, Priyam, Vidit, Nits and Ananya di. I had severe headache but I could not cancel the plan. They all wanted me to come. I went only half-hearted. I know they all love me and in last few days the way I have behaved isn't right from any way. I have to make everything right once again. I cannot let everyone down.
They all got unexpected gifts to me and the most unexpected gift is given by Aarav. Guess what he has gifted me. He has gifted me a GUITAR. Yes, a brown colour acoustic guitar. I have received so many gifts today from jewelry to handbag but this one is so special. I am actually surprised how he thought of such a gift. I mean I don't even know how to play guitar. Second best gift of this special day. Obviously first gift is your wish. Without that my happiness would've been incomplete.
We cut the cake and celebrated. One more unexpected thing happened today. I had vodka. Yeah after a long time I tasted alcohol.
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