9 weeks...

May 13th, 2014
Tuesday
5:49 A.M.

'Good morning my princess ' I am really dying to receive this text from you. There are so many people who still wish me good morning with their love but none is as special as yours was used to be.

9 weeks, more than two months, more than enough time to accept the reality. How can I be so silly, keeping track of each and every passing moment. If I'll keep thinking about you like this, how will I get over you? See its so early morning and I am thinking about you. I can skip breathing but not your thoughts. I am quite amazed at my own demeanor. The girl who used to give damn to the world is now lost somewhere. These mornings, in your absence, have lost their importance. Missing our loving cozy moments like anything.

12:30 P.M.

Finally I give up on myself once again. Just 5 minutes back I was sitting in Mom's room and don't know why I started feeling so uncomfortable and tears appeared in my eyes. Mom noticed my expression changing and asked what's wrong. I said nothing. I knew she would ask more questions. I have no answers to her questions so I came back to my room and now crying for no reason.  Am I missing you? Is this because today 9 weeks have been over and the memories are haunting me? I don't know what the reason is but I am feeling broken and lonely. Why can't I behave normally like others? Being emotional is dangerous sometimes. It's deadly. My own emotions ditch me and unfortunately I am not good in faking emotions. I can't do it. When I am not happy I can't  pretend to be happy. I don't understand why these tears don't dry up and stop flowing.