Past haunts...

19-March-2014
Wednesday
6:41 A.M.

Just opened my eyes to the world. A world which is full of enchanting creations. Everything so bright and beautiful. I can see the azure sky through my window. Birds soaring in the sky and chirping as if welcoming to the new dawn with music. These things can bring a new hope in any being but why not in me? Why instead of a smile on my face i have water in my eyes? What's wrong with me?

I am not happy. These things don't appeal me now. I'm lost in the world of my own thoughts and every thought is of you. The thoughts of our good times and the bad times. The thoughts of our love and fights. The thoughts of our being together and getting apart. How everything changed?

From the very day we've moved apart nothing is fine. The things are getting worse to worst. Yesterday I had quarrel with dad. No actually not quarrel because only he spoke and I remained quite. I had nothing to say.
In last so many years it was the first time, as I remember, when dad talked to me like this. He doesn't want me to remain silent and stay in my room all the time. He wanted to know the reason behind my change. He wanted to know why I am always lost in books or my cellphone. I didn't say anything or I should say I had no words to express my feelings. I was silent. I didn't reply him for anything and he left. I was left alone here to cry.

The girl who was always so full of life, shouting, fighting, laughing and running all over the home making it alive has stopped talking. Yes it's a big issue for them. They think I am brooding over a trivial issue. They can never understand that I am not that strong who forgets everything so easily as if nothing had happened. For me it's not easy to forget what happened in my life.

I don't know how people move on so easily. How they forget their past and move ahead? It's not happening with me. I am getting weaker day by day. Everytime I try to move ahead your memories drag me back to the past. It's not that I don't try to stay strong but it seems my every effort goes futile. I can't forget anything about us.