Ceased..

23-March-2014
Sunday
6:42 A.M.

Sunday.. the most awaited day of the week. A day when we used to spend most of our time together laughing out hard. After the hectic schedule of week a day to relax and to be with you. How should I not remember you when everything single thing is linked with you?

Just a single thought of your and my eyes well up. Why did you left me alone here to combat with this emotional turmoil? Every next moment I die a new death knowing that you'll never comes back. This pain is unbearable. Why I have to feel it for no mistake of mine? Streaming tears have replaced the lovely smile. You have changed me and my life.

Yesterday it was Rangpanchmi, here in Kanpur. Everyone was busy in playing colours and filling their lives with colours. I could just see them happily enjoying the festival. I remember last year on the same fest we were playing the songs game when I was in kitchen, hiding my smile because of your sweet and funny views on songs. This year I was sitting back in my room watching people and missing my own past.

Past is surely a good place to visit but not a good place to stay. I'm living in my present but my heart is in past. Missing and remembering the sweet memories we made then.

In those days 24 hours were too less too cherish the love and now even one hour is too long to pass. We never knew how day passed and we used to say time to stop. I really wish it was stopped then and there. I want my smiles back. I don't want to cry. I don't want to feel broken and shattered. You did everything for me. Can't you bring back those moments  for me? You never wanted me to cry for any reason then why you did this to me? Doesn't it hurts you too? Don't you feel the same pain? Don't you miss the times when we were together? I don't know what was it for you...maybe just a game which you couldn't stop to play but for me it's my life and you have ruined it.

I know nothing can be same as before. Somethings in life come with no second chance, love is at the top of that list. It's never going to come back. I can only cry over those moments. The moments when you couldn't live without me. The time when you anyhow managed to bring my smiles back. How can you forget everything so easily?  How can you be so heartless?  I can't forget anything. I can't move on. Its killing me. I don't know how to come out of this trauma.:'(