A Melange Of Memories...

26-March-2014
Wednesday
7:02 A.M.

The love you can't have usually last the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.

Isn't it so true? We always love the things most which we can't have in our lives. The thought of being apart never came into my mind. I always had a firm belief that you'll get me back if at any point of time we moved apart. How wrong I was! Why  didn't I  ever realize everything was just a dream?

I miss each and every moment spent with you.
* I miss our 24*7 chats which used to keep me busy and 24 hours seemed too less in a day.

*I miss your pampering. The way you used to pamper me throughout the day.

*I miss the way you used to say "Kanyu is only my baby."

*I miss u when I wake up in the morning and there is no text from you saying "Good morning my baby princess. "

*I miss you in the night when no one says "Neeni ayi hai meli baby ko. Baby eyes close klo. I'm with you."

*I miss you when I wake up in midnight and there is no one to whom I can say "story sunao." I can't wake you up now just because I can't sleep and say "Maine ni uthaya tumhe. Neeni karne do."

*I miss our silly, stupid, kiddish talks which made me(us) laugh until my  stomach aches.

*I miss when I walk down the stairs and realize now you're not there to say "Kanyu tum na dhyan se chala karo. Text ka reply baad me karna."

*I miss you when nobody reminds me about my meals after every few minutes and say "baby inni dieting kyu karti ho aap?"

*I miss you during the rain when we used to spend our time texting each other and it felt like we're together in real.

*There was no single day when I didn't eat ice cream. I can't eat ice cream now. I miss how you used to say "Baby ice clm ni khao."

*I miss you when I hear songs. Every song makes me miss you even more. "Tu hi meri saari zameen, chahe kahi se chalu, tujhpe hi aakar ruku." I can never hear it again. It reminds me whenever I got angry and say "Go away. I don't want to talk to you." You always used to write this song for me that made me smile no matter how angry I was.

* I cannot turn back the pages of my diary. Every page is inked with your memories. Memories of our love, the fights, the break ups, the patch ups, the promises, the month anniversaries, the birthdays, the surprises. Everything about us.

Every memory of you breaks me into pieces. Its been two weeks and I don't remember a single day when I didn't cry for you. Everything was so good. Why all this had to happen? There were days when I couldn't stop smiling and now I can't stop crying. I don't remember the day and time when I slept calmly. I just can't sleep. Everytime I try to sleep your thoughts blow my mind off. Your words keep ringing in my head. I feel sick choking on my own tears.

Million words cannot bring you back, I know because I tried,
Not even million tears can bring you back, I know because I cried.

Time has come to a standstill. Every second seems like hours. Every breath seems torturous. I close my eyes and hope when I will open them, it will be gone like a bad dream. I try to console myself but nothing works. Your sheer presence could lit my life. Now it's all darkness. The pain is getting harder to live with.

You'll never understand how much I wish you have something to text me for: that you miss me or maybe you're sorry for whatever happened. Something!  Anything! I miss you more and more with every passing moment. I lost count of times I break into tears. This pain is killing me bit by bit. I wish to die once and for all than to die every moment.