Tussle of emotions...

June 4th, 2014
Wednesday
9:33 A.M.

You are in all my prayers...
Your memories are around me everywhere...
You are my divine song...
You are where I belong...

Everyday when I start writing this page I get confused from where to start, what to write, everyday the same thing that I miss you and you're all I want. Sounds creepy. I know.

I hope someone was there for me to understand and help me to give words to my feelings. I have so many things to say, so many emotions to express, so many words waiting to be said. Its a turbulent phase for me. Handling this tussle of emotions is a tough job specially when I have lost the one who used to understand my all unsaid words.

Today I am walking in a deep dark tunnel with no hint of any light. I sometimes want to scream that I'm tired of faking these smiles. I am broken and dead. I don't want to live anymore. I can't take all this anymore. I want to cry. I want to die. But I feel the voice of my soul is chocked in my throat.

I wonder where everything went so wrong all of a sudden. What let this coldness between us. We used to fight, get angry also but nothing had the power to drift us apart. Today everything has changed. Neither you are you nor I am I. All the love, desperation and passion has lost somewhere in an unknown zone where I cannot go to get it back.

So many random thoughts and uncountable emotions are bursting in my head waiting to be said and expressed. Long sleepless nights and tiring restless days with silent sobs have become my constant companions. I never expected this.

11:15 P.M.

Today once again your id was logged in for whole day. I was glad to see the online mark on it.